Douche-baggery is a hereditary condition

Posted by Bron on March 14, 2012

If I ever got the chance to see an elephant in the wild, I don’t know that my first thought would be, “You know what would make this even more amazing? If this elephant were DEAD!” To me, that would be equivalent to Sir Edmund Hillary conquering Mount Everest and then dynamiting the whole damn mountain so nobody else could have a go. EVER.

Eric Trump clearly has loads of respect for this dead animal

But Donald Trump’s sons, Donald Jr. and Eric, think that’s an awesome idea. They went on a “hunting” “safari” in Zimbabwe last year and doing the rounds are photos of them posing with a bunch of stuff they killed, including an elephant, a crocodile, a kudu, a civet cat and a waterbuck. These assholes watch a nature documentary and think it’s an interior decorating catalogue.

Donald Jr. has been defending himself on twitter by writing, “I have no shame about [the pictures]. I HUNT & EAT game … I’m a hunter, for that I make no apologies.”

I don’t think sitting around in a comfortable jeep, being driven up to an animal that was tracked by somebody else, pointing a gun and aiming at a target that is 13 feet tall can really be described as “hunting”. I call it “going to a really expensive self-serve butcher”. But the Trump juniors seem to think what they did was really heroic and skillful.

Here is a list of activities I would consider equally, if not MORE, heroic and skillful than poaching threatened species from the comfort of a luxury vehicle:

  • Squashing a bug
  • Taking a walk
  • Buying apples at the store
  • “Hunting” apples in an orchard
  • Punching a Trump in the face

In conclusion, I wish this upon them both: